It’s high noon. The sun is blazing down on me and I feel its warmth slowly bringing me to life. I wake up slowly in a field surrounded by tall, yellow grasses. The birds are pecking at my skin, sharply reminding me that I am alive. I force my arm to move to shoo them away before they open wounds on my skin. I sit up groggily, holding my aching head in my hands. I feel the perspiration running down my face and long for a glass of water. I breathe in deeply, look up, and notice the tall grasses hiding me from view. Standing up slowly, I see the field stretches far into the distance: a waving yellow that moves gently in the breeze. I look all around and see endless yellow around me, unbroken by man or building.
Where am I?
I stagger forward, weakened by lack of water and whatever brought me here. I sense that I must move, that my life is somehow in danger. I cannot remember the direction I was going, so I take a chance and move forward . I walk slowly, eyes watching my feet, hands moving the grasses out of my way. The heat is unbearable as the sun pounds on my uncovered head.
A cluster of sounds coming from a distance breaks the silence. I look up and see a cloud of dust approaching. I have no energy left to run. And maybe what is coming towards me I need not fear. I decide to wait and leave my fate to chance. Either I will be seen, or the convoy will pass me by. The group of cars approach, the front ones cutting through the fields with ease. Heart pounding, I wait. Someone sees me and the convoy comes to a halt in front of me. The door of a black SUV opens and a man dressed in black comes out and approaches. He wears an earpiece and, I am sure, has something tucked neatly away under his jacket. Unsmiling he stands before me.
“Who are you?” he asks.
“I do not know. I cannot remember.”
(This post was inspired by Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday time & place scenario prompt)
I love the use of description in this post, it makes me feel like I’m there.
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Thank you for your compliment. I appreciate it 🙂
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An excellent opening to grip the reader Colline, you’re a natural born storyteller 🙂
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Thank you. I would have to think a little more to decide where to take this story.
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This certainly creates a lot of atmosphere and food for the imagination to run riot!
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Thank you Colonialist. This is a wonderful compliment from you.
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Your writing drew me in! Nicely done!
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Thank you. I was hoping I had given enough to keep the reader interested.
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Reblogged this on this 'n that.
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Talk about suspense! Is this something that you are considering continuing? Either way it is perfectly descriptive. As a reader, I felt as if I were in the maze with you.
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Thank you Kim. I will not continue this one yet as I have decided to continue another. The story, however, has begun to germinate 🙂
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So, what happened next? 😉
That is how good your story is Colline. I want to know what happened next. Is it to be continued..is it? Oh dear, now I am really curious! LOL! Not fair! 😀
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I am going to have to finish one of these stories to satisfy your curiosity Sonel 🙂
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I like the line, ‘I walk slowly, eyes on my feet, moving the grasses out of my way.’
I can smell the earth, sense the uneven ground beneath my feet as I walk (with your character) and feel the grass as I pull it aside out of my way. You do have a way of creating a sense of immediacy allowing the reader to easily immerse themselves into the story.
It is easy to live through the eyes of your characters, Colline. This makes it such a pleasure to read your writing. This is also difficult to create in only a few paragraphs. You manage this very well. I think you must ‘live inside’ your character while writing, to experience what they do and then relay this to the reader. Am I right?
The pleasure of this type of writing is that it allows the writer to experience it as well!
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That is exactly what I do Darlene. I imagine I am the character and then try to express what it is “I” am feeling. It is a technique that seems to work well for me.
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This is interesting, Colline. I once told someone that I love to write. She looked at me perplexed. She re-stated what I said with an incredulous expression and told me that it was not possible to ‘enjoy’ writing. I thought a lot about what this young person had said many years ago and wondered why she did not enjoy writing. I imagine that if you do not have the ability to ‘live’ through your character, feeling what they feel, then writing would be strenuous.
How do you find writing, Colline? Enjoyable or strenuous?
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I actually enjoy it – even when I have done academic writing (which is most of my experience). I enjoy expressing my ideas and letting the words take over. I think it is incredible that we are able to communicate in this way.
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Your imagination amazes me 🙂 Such a thrilling and well written read! Have a nice week, Colline!
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thank you so much Paula. Glad you enjoyed the read.
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Are you an English and literature teacher? Sorry that I have to ask….
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I taught English to high school students for 9 years (after majoring in English at university). Now I am teaching French to elementary students 🙂
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😀 this is great Colline, I taught English and French for 7 years 😀
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Good to meet up with a fellow teacher 🙂
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Ex-teacher in my case, and I am happy about it :D. Good luck with your students, Colline 🙂
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What a scary feeling!
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I know I would not want to be in this situation: not knowing who I am, or how I got to where I am.
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Your deep imagery is impeccable. You are always able to put me right there and intoxicate me completely inside the moment and the character. Whatever you are doing, continue on. Bravo!
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Thank you for your encouragement Kellie. It means a lot to me.
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Awesome build up to the mystery of the unknowing from both sides. Questions, do you think the suspense will continue?
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There is an idea brewing in my mind on what the next step would be 🙂
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